


i think i saw you in my sleep

by odetosleep



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 22:36:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2668925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetosleep/pseuds/odetosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>spin the car round, push your head down</i>
  <br/><i>smashing to the ground with you</i>
  <br/><i>there's been a piece of glass found and a terrible sound</i>
  <br/><i>what if what they're saying is true?</i>
  <br/><i>i prefer it in your bed, television set</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	i think i saw you in my sleep

Tyler doesn’t remember how many days it’s been since he left his room. The curtains are closed and the blinds drawn, so except when they’re in the pitch dark they exist in a state of semi-grey light that makes it difficult to measure the passage of time.

Sometimes Tyler gets up to go into the adjoining bathroom, but Josh doesn’t. Neither of them eat. Tyler tuned out his body’s physical cries for help a while ago; he’s numb to hunger now.

It’s too quiet and neither of them want to talk much, so Tyler leaves the television on at a low volume. Mostly it’s just static, making their passive faces glow in flickers. Sometimes a phone rings beyond the bedroom door, a muted echo through the walls.

Josh lies on his side of Tyler’s bed, pressing his body alongside Tyler’s from shoulder to feet as soon as he returns from leaving the bed. Tyler watches shadows play on the walls until the television switches itself off and they’re in the dark again. Only when he can no longer see Josh beside him does Tyler fumble with shaking fingers, scrabbling across Josh’s chest and holding Josh to him with both arms, burying his face in Josh’s neck. He whispers things he wants Josh to know, that he wants himself to be reminded of: _I love you, I love you, I’m sorry, I love you._

Sometimes he thinks Josh is crying, can feel Josh’s fingers in his hair, tracing the planes of his face in the blind dark. Tyler doesn’t want to think about why Josh might be crying, doesn’t want to remember what made him shut himself away like this.

The room turns grey again, and they cease to hold each other because it means looking in each other’s eyes. When Tyler is drinking water in the bathroom, he makes eye contact with his reflection in the mirror. He doesn’t recognize the boy looking back at him. There is stubble on his jaw, shadows like bruises under his eyes, a jagged line disappearing into his hair marked by sutures like a row of skewed kisses. A burst of sound from the bedroom causes him to jump and drop the cup of water he had been filling from the tap, splashing ice cold over his bare feet. The spreading water across the tile reflects the silver mirror, and Tyler briefly sees the glitter of broken glass.

The bed creaks and the television chatters almost violently. Tyler leaves the water and stands in the doorway. Josh is curled up against the headboard, eyes fixed on the screen. The Josh they’re showing isn’t recognizable as the Josh in Tyler’s bed, either.

“Don’t watch,” Tyler says, his voice cracking from lack of proper use.

“I’m on the news, Tyler,” Josh responds quietly. He looks at Tyler, and Tyler tries to meet his eyes, blinking away the phantom stain his vision superimposes over the front of Josh’s shirt.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about.” Tyler’s voice is soft, but the click as he turns the television off is loud and sharp.

Tyler climbs back into the bed and holds his arms out for Josh. Josh stares at the blank screen for a while longer, their reflections distorted, then turns away and burrows into Tyler. The grey bleeds into blackness again. Tyler isn’t quite sure anymore if he’s awake or sleeping, but the sound of screeching, shattering, bending, the smell of burning, has him screaming.

Josh’s arms aren’t there.

**Author's Note:**

> title from such small hands by la dispute but confusingly summary and inspiration from haunt//bed by the 1975
> 
> sorry about this i just had it in my head and needed to write something out of it


End file.
